Seasons Greetings!

I find it incredibly ironic that the last post I did (way back in September! :0) was on the theme of daring to live, letting dreams become reality, etc.

Flash forward 3-4 months and apparently I have been living because I certainly haven't made time to blog!

Why the sudden change of heart? I took a funny little quiz the other day to see what their opinion of my life's mission was, and they said I should be a blogger. I literally laughed out loud because, as you can see, I am not the most consistent communicator. Still, it did remind me that I enjoy sharing my thoughts and ideas and it wouldn't not be a bad thing to start up again.

I hope everyone had a blessedly merry Christmas! After prepping for a week at home with shopping trips, baking, and other various scamperings, Christmas was beautiful with midnight (okay, 10pm Mass...), Christmas morning Mass (I loved playing the organ!), presents, time spent with family, and overall cheer.

Yesterday all four of my siblings made it home with their families, which made my mom and dad's 40th Anniversary celebration quite special. It was a fun day with everyone contributing a soup to share and other goodies. We also played games, had a whole-family singing/caroling session (breaking into 4-part harmonies as much as possible), and story time with Mom.

Now I'm getting excited to go spend a week with my boyfriend and his family, so we'll see what excitement the New Year's celebrations have in store! Perhaps now is time to start thinking about those resolutions for the new year.... ;)

"Peace begins with a smile..." ~Mother Teresa

Daring to live

Can you believe that September is almost gone already? This semester is just FLYING by - it feels like we just started last week!

I know the saying is "time flies when you are having fun," and I certainly am having fun times. Sometimes, though, I'm so busy that I forget that I'm getting to do what I love and that I'm learning a lot. It's good to remember that every once in a while. It helps with the motivation!

It seems unreal that this is my last year doing my undergraduate work...next year I have no idea where I'll be and it can be quite unnerving at times. Honestly, whenever someone asks "what will you be doing after you graduate?" I sort of want to scream and fly away in a puff of smoke.

That seems a bit unrealistic, though, so I just shrug and give the honest answer "I don't know."

Okay, but think about it. Do you ever really know where you'll be one year from today? No. You can assume that you'll either still be doing the same thing or you'll be doing something different, but you can't truly know for sure.

This makes me think that I don't need to know, either. Everything will work out.

I hope.

It's hard to trust in that sometimes, but I have to accept that trusting is all I can do at this point.

I had a little creative fit a week or so ago (can't remember exactly when...) and decorated the big empty wall in my room. It turned out way better than I had anticipated, and it makes me much happier in my space.

"Dare to live the life you have dreamed for yourself."

I couldn't get far enough away to get the whole thing in the picture - sorry!

After sorting through a number of possibilities, I chose this quote because I think it's what I need to keep telling myself. There are a number of messages that I take from it. 

Dare to live. 

Dare to dream. 

Live for yourself. 

Dream for yourself. 

Dare to dream of the life that you want. 

Dare to live that dream to the fullest. 

And so on. 

It helps, because right now I often grow afraid of the future, or begin telling myself to narrow my possibilities because I don't have as many capabilities, etc. 

I am pretty much my own worst enemy. 

Oh, I've been told over the years that I am my worst critic. It's true, I am hard on myself. But lately it's gotten to the point where I am holding myself back, and I need to let myself shine, grow, dream.

The only person who can insist that I be happy and peaceful is me, and it's time to start making the effort and live my life and dream wildly - for life is beautiful, and there are beautiful dreams to be had.


"Dare to live the life you have dreamed for yourself. Go forward and make your dreams come true." ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

The Penthouse

I have a new home!!!

And it's perfect. Absolutely perfect.

Over the summer I've been living in a smaller apartment on campus with three other girls, so sharing a room, bathroom, and kitchen/living area. It was a bit cramped and there was a bug problem since our door opened directly to the outside world and the building is older.

This past weekend, I moved into my housing for the upcoming school year!

My two closest girlfriends and I decided to splurge and pamper ourselves for our senior year together. We met the first day freshman year and have been inseparable ever since, even starting our own "band" as a singing trio. I could not had asked for more amazing of friends, and I'm so delighted that we're all three get to have our own space this last year of school. *sniff*

Since I've been on campus all summer, I got to move in early, and Flora and Merryweather decided to come and help me (Fauna) as a fun way to have a get-together (hadn't seen them since May!) and celebrate Merryweather's birthday.
(We identified ourselves with the fairies from Sleeping Beauty freshman year...thought I'd resurrect the old nicknames!)

Here are some pictures of our new space! (sadly I didn't get any pictures of the three of us...I believe Merryweather has those on her phone...)

My room before moving anything in - we each get our own room! And they're huge. So spoiled!

The lovely living room. While it still craves some wall decor and the tv is coming when the other two officially move in,  I'm already in love with this room. It's so cozy and peaceful!
Notice the piano in the corner? :D

Recycling a quote that Merryweather and I had in our room last year, we decided it livened up the kitchen nicely!

The view from the living room window. We're on the third floor, overlooking the creek/bluffs. It's gorgeous!

All settled in my room!

It's already a bit more homey since I took these pictures, and it will keep getting cozier as I find places for everything. 

The hallway leading to the other girls' bedrooms and the bathroom. I love that there's hardly any carpet. 

Perfect for primping ;) 

Even the bathroom is ginormous. 

We still like to have a sense of humor in the bathroom. ;)

And there you have it - The Penthouse, as we've endeared our new home. I feel so incredibly blessed to have such a delightful space to live in for this last year at college, and thankful for such amazing friends to share it with. Now I can start to feel ready for the school year to begin!

"If we will walk humbly with our God, He will lead us by the hand to exactly who and what we need, to those people, things, and experiences He has designed and intended for us, and this alone will be the cause of our deep fulfillment and happiness." ~Matthew Kelly (Rediscovering Catholicism, Journeying Toward Our Spiritual North Star)

3/4 of a year

Yesterday was a beautiful day. After a huge thunderstorm (in some areas close by there were actually tornado warnings, but thankfully we were not in danger) the air was clean and the sun was shining in the clear blue sky. Yes, it was probably over 90 degrees during the afternoon, but after being cooped up in an overly air-conditioned office for the majority of the summer, I was pretty excited to enjoy my day off by exploring some sunshine!

So when my boyfriend texted me wishing me a happy 9-months-of-dating and asked if I'd like to go on a walk around the big lake, I was delighted to say yes!

We set out later in the afternoon, so it was probably about 5pm before we actually started walking. Still pretty hot, though! We brought bottles of water to make sure we didn't get dehydrated.

I was also armed with my camera.

Nothing like starting off the adventure with a selfie!

The lake was splendidly beautiful with the bluffs in the background. 

We love to be silly every once in the while, and the sun was being so photogenic... ;)

Look at that water!

Most of the path around the lake is sheltered by trees, so we enjoyed the shade. 

So many ducks! This little family was especially cute. 

I absolutely LOVE weeping willow trees, and the breeze was doing wonderful things with this one. 

"The road goes ever on and on...."

We had a splendid, leisurely time - walking along chatting and holding hands while avoiding being trampled by the motivated cyclists that would whiz past periodically. Afterwards we enjoyed a lovely dinner and ended the evening by watching 'How To Train Your Dragon 2' - one I've been intending to see for quite a while. It was super cute! 

"Some of us were just born different." ~Valka, from "How To Train Your Dragon 2

Clouds and Flowers

This summer has been passing so quickly. Many days I feel that I am actually missing summer, since I spend so much of my time locked away in a box office or selling tickets at shows so I can't actually get outside and enjoy the sun.

Or the days when I do plan to go outside it decides to rain and storm so I have to stay inside.

Granted, I choose to spend plenty of my off-time hours watching tv shows or reading and such, but I was very excited this morning to get ready and go explore the town a bit while I had nothing else demanding my attention.

Where did I go? I went down by the river to check out the park there. Supposedly there's a rose garden somewhere down there, but while I didn't find any roses I did find lots of flower gardens! I was excited to exercise my camera.

The walk down by the river. It's gorgeous! Even though it was cloudy...

First flower garden..they were all small little gardens, but so vibrant!

I love tall, wild-looking flowers. 

A touch of pink :) 

This one was just waiting for someone to take it's picture. 

Do you see those little moth-like things? They were all over these plants!

Greeting the day. 

No garden is complete without some purple!

And more pink. 

Maybe I should work on my selfie skills, but I only took one to prove I was there, haha!

"I learned this, at least, by my experiment: that if one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours." ~Henry David Thoreau, Walden: Or, Life in the Woods

Squirrel Attack

Have you ever been attacked by a squirrel?

I suddenly feel for Veruca Salt.

This morning on my way to work, I was simply walking along, minding my own business. Suddenly I look up to see a little squirrel running at top speed towards me. Straight. At. Me.

Its ears were laid back. Its feet were determined. Its eyes had a wicked gleam that could chill the most strong-willed.

For a moment I thought it would swerve and be frightened of me.

It came on.

Then I started to panic. What if this was a rabid squirrel? I was not in the mood for a squirrel ambush this morning! Not. In. The. Mood.

Finally, just as I was about to try and dodge the seemingly inevitable impact, the squirrel seemed to recognize what he was about to do.

His whole expression changed from determined attack mode to guilty terror and at the last possible moment he veered to the right and within seconds almost ran into a car in his panic.

Admittedly I let out a bit of a squeak whilst this was occurring, but I felt an immediate relief when the little furry demon was no longer hurtling itself in my direction.

The rest of my walk to work was rather shaky, as I pondered what could have possessed the little rodent and whether it had thought I was a tree for climbing purposes...

I hope you all have had less traumatic mornings! ;)

Nothing ever becomes real 'til it is experienced." ~John Keats

Colored Water

This might seem obvious from the overall theme of my blog, but I just want to state here that I do consider myself something of an artist. While usually that comes out in music and sewing, I have many mediums that I love to play with and it comes as a thrill when I get the chance to dabble in various creative projects.

This weekend that form came in watercolor art.

Now, this would be much more impressive if I could draw my own pictures, but since all I can really draw and feel pleased with are cartoon-style flowers, I prefer to purchase ready-drawn pictures waiting for someone to add the color.

Despite this lack of originality, I do tend to feel rather pleased with the outcomes of my efforts, and this painting turned out quite nicely, in my opinion.

Someday I will study drawing and draw my own pictures, but for now I enjoy working on my painting technique and enjoy the pretty colors that swirl at the end of my brush. 

Plus it's fun to add some cheap artwork to a boring dorm room wall!

"To be creative means to be in love with life. You can be creative only if you love life enough that you want to enhance its beauty, you want to bring a little more music to it, a little more poetry to it, a little more dance to it." ~Osho

Culinary Adventures

A couple of week ago I traveled with my boyfriend to visit his parents for the weekend. As a part of the weekend spent at their house, we planned to cook a fancy dinner for his mother as a belated mother's day gift.

That Saturday we went shopping after poring over a few old family recipe books and picking whatever sounded good to us.
No, we picked nothing that we knew for sure we could make. Hey! Experiments are good, right?
Well. We got the ingredients for everything, and put them away for Sunday afternoon.

After spending the morning and early afternoon going to church and watching the Indianapolis 500-mile race, we buckled down and got to work.

Turns out we make a great team! Sadly we didn't get any pictures of the two of us together, but somehow we managed (after a good 2 1/2 hours of intense cooking) to put a lovely meal on the table, served with wine and champagne that his parents provided.

We were allowed to use the fine china and make the table all fancy :) 

I put together a modified chef salad, topped with a citrus dressing that was quite refreshing. 

Dijon mustard sauce over a seared pork chop, mashed potatoes,
orange-candied carrots, and a side of orange slices and parsley. 

Somehow we managed a successful chocolate soufflé, served with an attempt at a candied orange.
Also concocted a delightful desert coffee with chocolate syrup, orange liqueur, and whipped cream!

We were a little out of our league (especially with the soufflé!) but in the end everything tasted delicious and the whole family seemed to be fans of our cooking efforts. Someday we'll have to try again!

"One cannot think well, love well, sleep well, if one has not dined well." ~Virginia Woolf 

Getting on Track

As the summer seems to be finally getting into a routine, I think it's time that I start pulling out some long-dormant goals and brush the dust off, letting the light shine on their sleepy faces as they stretch and get excited for some exercise.

Too much?

Well, I have missed playing with words so this is the kind of banter you are going to get!

Since I already have the whole work-from-eight-to-four, exercise-three-times-a-week, sleep-as-much-as-possible thing down, it's time to start implementing other activities so my already-too-fast summer doesn't completely fly by leaving me feeling like I missed out on golden opportunities for adventures.

#1: learning music. I've been planning for months to spend my summer learning new music so that this fall I'm not so overwhelmed when I get back to lessons. Turns out I still find it pretty overwhelming in the summer, so practicing gets pushed aside for movies or long walks in the bluffs.

Granted, the scenery here at school is so gorgeous I feel bad for spending sunny days indoors, but let's be honest - I can't drag the piano outside!

#2: getting fit. Okay, so I've started doing the "Couch to 5K" running app with my boyfriend, and we've been doing really well so far. I'm loving the exercise and the feeling of moving again! However, I need to adjust my eating habits if I'm really going to notice a difference. A few less greasy foods at lunch, perhaps? And definitely less smarties...they have really become a problem. Perhaps I shouldn't refill the bowl I keep on my desk....

;)

#3: deepening my faith. This has already been off to a great start - since I have plenty of boredom-time at my job (waiting for the phone to ring can leave some dead time...) I've taken to reading in between helping patrons. Last week I finished "My Sisters The Saints" by Colleen Carroll Campbell. It was so good! And really increased my longing to get to know the saints better. I have a few other books I've been meaning to read, too. And stopping at the chapel for a few minutes after work is a habit I would love to cement.

#4: having fun. So yes. I'll admit it. I've been overthinking life and spending so much time worrying about what I'm not accomplishing that I forget to actually stop thinking so much and just live it! Learning to 'Let Go and Let God' has never been easy for me, so setting aside my fears and having a little faith that it will all work out is something I'd like to become better at. That might be asking a lot!

Hopefully I can try to keep myself motivated on these and other goals...I have another bad habit of making too many goals that I simply cannot keep up with: my list includes learning french, embroidering, sewing a skirt and three pillows, and learning about six new vocal pieces. (okay, that last one must happen! I have a recital in October!) But those are 'fun' things I can tuck in between trying to make myself the best that I can be :)


"You must live in the present, launch yourself on every wave, find your eternity in each moment. Fools stand on their island of opportunities and look toward another land. There is no other land; there is no other life but this." ~Henry David Thoreau

A Triad of Beauty

I have a few minutes before I run back out into the cold to find a baby grand piano for me to practice on, so I thought I'd drop a few words of happiness here with a triad of beautiful things.

#1: Old friends.

I happened upon this picture from when I was home for Christmas. As we all scrambled to get the house decorated, I took the time to dust off my dear American Girl dolls, Kit and Sally, and dressed them up so Mom could set them near the tree for fun.

Just to make for a cute picture, I tucked Gloria (my fake sleeping cat that scares people she looks so real) in to make it look like the little girls were having a fun conversation.

The beautiful part? I spent so much time playing with these two dolls as a little girl. They both have their own personalities and hold a special place in my heart.

#2: New toys!

Today I checked my mail - as I have been obsessively doing for the past week - and finally got the orange slip that told me I had a package! As soon as I picked up the package I opened it to draw out this beautiful new extension of my arm - my very first conductor's baton!

Yes, I am taking my first conducting class ever this semester, and while I don't have any aspirations of becoming the world's best conductor (or even conductor...) it is one of my favorite classes and I have been looking forward to having this required item. It's purple! (although the picture makes it look pink.)

#3: Performance Jitters

This week my school is having it's annual winter music show, where people audition with acts and those that get in perform three shows in a cozy atmosphere with pie and hot chocolate. It's one of my favorite events in the year, and this time I was thrilled to be allowed to perform in two different acts! One is a piece I'm performing with my trio - Beyonce's "Ave Maria" in three-part harmonies with piano, cello and cajun. It's so beautiful I get chills while we sing it! The second act is just me by myself, singing and playing piano for Kate Bush's "Wuthering Heights." This is a piece I learned back in high school while I read Emily Bronte's unsettling novel by that title, and I've been looking forward to getting it ready for people to hear. It's a bit...creepy. But oh, so fun!

So that's this week...lots has been going on, of course, but I like to pry out a few little blips that might otherwise be overlooked as I rush about my daily busynesses. Now I'd better go practice piano! These fingers have to get ready for a recital in April!



"Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is to not stop questioning." ~Albert Einstein 

A Triad of Beauty

First week back on campus after a relaxing Christmas break and after two days of syllabi monologues, I'm needing to think about some of the more beautiful things in life - that don't involve forced class discussions. *shudders*
Hey, I just took a little test that reaffirmed that I am definitely an introvert! Announce that we're having discussions every class and you might see me turn a shade paler as my mind immediately goes blank. If you were to give me a piece of paper and tell me to write out my thoughts I could do that easily - but talking out loud to an entire class? While I might ramble on for about five seconds that feel like 10 minutes, I almost never manage to say anything sensible.

Hopefully I'll improve that skill this semester! Goals, you know ;)

Okay. So the triad.

1. Genuine Interest

This might seem a bit odd, so let me explain. Back on campus you have the same conversation with everyone:

A: "Oh hey! Nice to see you - how was your break?"
B: "Hi! It was good - how was yours?"
A: "Good!"

Lots of exclamation points and smiling, but hardly any content. Just what exactly does "good" mean? Hardly anyone takes the time to find out. So when you have the time to pause and have a real conversation, filled with sincere interest in what the other person has to say and exchanging stories and ideas, it feels beautiful because you are actually forming a connection with that person - and all humans crave connection with others.

2. Fine Cuisine

One word that will make you cringe: Cafeteria.

I have been so spoiled all break by the delectable meals that my mom and sister make for me! (Okay, that made me sound lazy...which is mostly true when it comes to kitchens, but I do help occasionally!) Whether it was dark chocolate truffles, risotto, mom's homemade bread, or whatever interesting new dish that was tried, the food at home is always a treat to the senses. Returning to school where I'm never quite sure what is in the food and there's next to no flavor just reminds me of how blessed I am to have slightly more refined taste buds!

3. Practice Rooms

It made me smile to return to my practice room, greeting the shiny Steinway and setting the adjustable piano stool to the correct height. There's something so satisfying about playing in a tiny little room, knowing no one but you can really hear what you play. Oh, sure, technically the entire music department can probably hear that someone is practicing, but there's no guarantee that anyone is paying attention to notice the mistakes - or the sometimes surprisingly pretty phrases. I got my two hours in this morning, and while it was a struggle to stay motivated that long (I need to work my stamina back up) it was incredibly rewarding and I look forward to seeing how much I can improve this semester!

And there - three beautiful things that took much longer to explain than I intended. Now it's back to homework and probably some socializing before bed and another long day of classes tomorrow!


"Don't only practice your art, but force your way into its secrets, for it and knowledge can raise men to the divine." ~Ludwig van Beethoven 

In Theory...

Oh, if I could only count how many puns have been made throughout my five semesters of music theory classes...one of my favorites has to be "I'll see you in theory!"

And that's one of the clever ones. :/

I've been thinking a lot about music theory this week. My mom finally had her "I told you so" speech that I've been waiting for, since when I was in high school she was convinced that I should be a music major long enough to study theory - she thought I'd love it, or at least love knowing how to use it.

Of course I didn't agree with her and continued on my merry way to be a musical theater/dance major. Oh, sure, I'd take the fundamentals class so I'd know the basics, but otherwise I didn't think I could handle being a music major. I didn't believe I was good enough, especially after having a few older siblings who had majored in music at some point. Oh, how I have learned.

The first day of music theory we had to take a placement test, an assessment of how much we already knew with a possibility of testing out of the class to advance more quickly.
I maybe knew a couple of things, like durations and key signatures. Most of the test I left blank and I was panicking. This was never going to work, I didn't know music theory at all! When I turned in my test, the teacher told me "Oh, yes. You're in the right place."

Maybe that was supposed to make me feel better. All I knew was that I felt like an idiot for not already knowing theory and I formed a goal to learn all I could in that class.

First semester freshman year was stressful - I was extremely busy with my theater and dance focus, but the one class I took the most seriously was music theory. Oh, the nights I spent staying up late, agonizing over rhythm until the inevitable breakdown into tears... Even though I was consistently getting A's on the homework assignments, I was still convinced that I was bad at this.

Then one day I was the last person in the classroom, still checking over an assignment before going to my next class. My teacher came up to me and, upon seeing what I was clearly still puzzling over, he said "You don't need to worry about this. You're really good at theory." Gives me a quizzical look.  "What's your major again?"

Maybe he didn't mean it that way, but the words were like music (ha!) to my ears. It was almost as if he had given me permission to see myself as a musician, telling me that I could succeed if I just kept trying.

It was a turning point in my career. At the end of the semester I talked to him and switched to music as my major, and I have never regretted it. Thriving in theory, delighting in my piano lessons, and looking forward to choir every day, it is a lifestyle that I truly enjoy. I work hard - just this past semester I pulled two all-nighters in a row to get my music finals completed - but the work is always rewarding.

Now I have made it through all my theory classes for my undergraduate. There is a possibility of my being able to help tutor students next year, which has me excited. Even though I'm done taking classes in theory, however, I will always be able to use it. Today I started analyzing a piece that I'm working on for piano, and my mom could tell you I was sitting there with a pencil and my music, scribbling all over, exclaiming every now and then with an "aha!" or "oh, for cool!" as I geeked out over the Medtner piece.

Why do I now love theory? Well, for years I didn't know theory and I tried to play piano anyway, making it up when I didn't quite understand what was going on in the music. Now that I have the knowledge, playing is made so much simpler. Of course practice helps that, too, but understanding how music is written and the technicalities used by the composer are extremely useful tidbits of information when attempting to learn to play a lengthy composition. It's also exciting that something I have been working so hard to comprehend is now able to be a tool that I can use, in a way giving back some of what I poured into it.

Theoretically, music is one of the best life decisions I have made so far :)


"You can only become truly accomplished at something you love. Don't make money your goal. Instead pursue the things you love doing and then do them so well that people can't take their eyes off  of you." ~Maya Angelou  

Anticipation of a Happy New Year

I'm a little out of practice at blogging, so forgive me if this comes across as a bit cheesy. I often tell people I don't really plan these posts - I just write what's on my mind.

And right now the new year, 2015, is on my mind. 2015 and all it's promise and delightful mysteries that I look forward to unraveling.

While I have expectations of certain things this new year will hold, ultimately it's impossible to know exactly what will happen and I find that both intriguing and slightly scary. Here I am, halfway through my junior year at college, starting to wonder about what I'll do with the rest of my life and not knowing what my plan is.

But that's okay. I usually don't have a plan - I prefer to let God write my story. And so far he has done an excellent job of that, so I see no reason to try and take over now. Oh, of course I'll make some plans, but I usually don't get too attached to my ideas - I know my plans will never measure up to what He might have in mind for me, and I'd rather not miss the opportunities if I'm too focused on what I think is a good plan.

Usually.

That's doesn't mean I don't still make tons of lists and attempts to invent a plan for myself. Making lists is one of my favorite activities, you know!

Which is why it was so fun to form goals for the new year. Listing reasons to motivate me to better myself and my lifestyle so as to be healthier and happier in the long run. Here are some that I am most looking forward to implementing:

Spiritual:
~Reading "Magnificat" to maintain daily prayer time.
~Attending daily Mass at least three times a week throughout the school year.

Intellectual:
~Staying motivated in studies - as in, do the required reading on time and accomplish tasks without having to pull all-nighters.
~Diligently practice piano (since I'm a performance major now, I must stay focused!)

Physical:
~Come up with an exercise plan and stick to it! Running, abs, and stretching should be on a daily rotational schedule.
~Get enough sleep - no, an average of five hours was not enough last semester, so I must maintain a bedtime and get at least six hour per night.
~And eating enough food...people get concerned when I start shaking during the middle of the day.

Knowing myself, I will struggle with keeping up all of these (especially the getting enough sleep one!) but I'm feeling motivated and ready to try my best and hopefully be a bit less stressed because of a more balanced lifestyle.

There is so much to look forward to - I must be ready for it!


"You never know what's around the corner. It could be everything. Or it could be nothing. You keep putting one foot in front of the other, and then one day you look back and you've climbed a mountain." ~Tom Hiddleston