Settling In

Hello friends!

It has been a bit longer than I like since I blogged, so I'll just put in a quick post/update.

Settling back into college life has seemed both simple and hectic this year. Now a junior, classes are intensifying and expectations are higher. I've been noticing a few things that make junior year easier, though. (It's only my third day of classes, so forgive me if I seem idealistic - that's just who I am!)

~I know people. The first two years of school I was still in the process of forming friendships and relationships with professors. Now? These people know me, I know them - we're good. Fabulous, even. The only hard part is finding enough time to hang out with these awesome people!

~Classes seem more doable. As a freshman coming straight from being homeschooled my whole life, classes were insanely intimidating. This semester, when I find my stress levels raising, I remind myself of how much unnecessary stress I put myself through those first two years, take a breath, and challenge myself to remain calm and figure it out in a rational manner.*

*it's still a learning work in progress - I still freak out once in a while.

~I've gained confidence. While this one goes with the other two, I know I have grown up a bit during the summer - traveling and having a job will do that to you, I guess - and I'm not at all the same as I was freshman year. I walk with a straight back and with purpose in my steps, and I initiate conversations and attempt to be responsible. Being an adult doesn't seem quite so strange a concept anymore.

Okay, these are brief little points that I've been thinking about in between figuring out adding and dropping a few courses, going to classes, doing homework, practicing music, and finding time to praise the Lord for all the goodness He has seen fit to shower upon me.

Also, I just read this letter to artists by Saint John Paul II - that amazing pope and saint. You can find the link here.  I'd never read it before, but it was suggested for one of my classes and I simply devoured it before lunch. Yes, I was hungry. But the words! Read it and you will see why I was nodding emphatically and highlighting every other paragraph (slight exaggeration...). It's beautiful.

On that note, it is time to satiate another sort of hunger by going to dinner. :)


"Confront the dark parts of yourself, and work to banish them with illumination and forgiveness. Your willingness to wrestle with your demons will cause your angels to sing." ~August Wilson

The Summer Is Fading

 

Look at this picture. 

What does it mean to you? How does it inspire you? 

When I look at this picture, taken in the middle of June the morning after I returned home from England, I imagine all sorts of emotions, feelings, expectations...the list goes on. 

Like how excited I was to be home. That first morning back remains one of the most beautiful sunrises and early dawn experiences that I can remember being blessed to participate in. 

Or how I imagined my summer going - work during the day, relax and accomplish projects in the evenings, rest up for school, and see friends often. Most of that happened besides the resting...

Perhaps I had an idea of sitting in that chair, maybe getting up early every morning to see more sunrises like this one. 

Or studying photography so I'd know how to capture the beauty of God's creation in a more advanced/more professional manner, since I am quite ignorant in that area. 

These are just a few past longings that this picture brings to mind when I look at it. 

What happened to the summer? One week from now I go back to school for what will likely be another insanely busy semester, and I begin to see a pattern in my life: busy, busy, busy. 

I always over-schedule myself, and make all sorts of plans, and then I freak out trying to accomplish it all. 

The thing is, I still like being busy. I love getting projects done, I love knowing I was a part of something exciting, and I love seeing people - even if all of these things stress me out sometimes. 

This summer I had so many wonderful experiences - travel, new job, a musical, church music internship, getting together with friends, movie dates with sisters...again, the list goes on. 

Were these all things I had in mind when I took this picture? Perhaps not exactly, but I think my summer turned out pretty well. I'm learning more about what it means to be happy, and I think the first step is taking a moment to appreciate what's happening in your now. 

My now as I type this increasingly lengthy blog post is the sound of crickets outside my window, the darkness outside meeting with the light in my room to cause shadows all about, the warmth of an August evening, the touch of a wooden chair, the smell of the candle I have sitting on my dresser....all these things contribute to a cozy atmosphere that makes me want to pause and soak it in, putting off sleep, because I don't want to miss anything. 

I know tomorrow will be crazy. Still busy. But hopefully I'll be reminded throughout the day to pause and take note of the little things that are making each moment special, and that will make each day a more delightful experience. 

"Think of all the beauty still left around you and be happy." ~Anne Frank

A Triad of Beauty

I love beauty. Beautiful things like sunrises, a joyful smile, a show of strength, pretty objects, depth of character. Beautiful feelings like persevering to gain success, showing someone you love them, experiencing sadness in situations where you truly care...the list goes on and on.

What I'd like to do on this blog is have occasional posts where I list three (because three is my favorite number) impressions that I find beautiful.

And not broadly ranged things, like music or laughter or general topics. These three things must be more specific, little things that might not be obviously beautiful but that shine out in a memorable way to me and I just can't help but want to share with others. Because sharing beauty with others is where I find great joy.

1. Novenas.

I have recently discovered a delight in praying novenas. My sister shared a link with me to a website where they email you the prayers to the novena every day, so you won't forget, and it works so well for me! I had been having trouble fitting in daily prayer - a struggle I think most people can relate to - but now I start each morning with the novena. With time I find myself adding more and more prayers throughout my day, and that has been a truly beautiful thing.

Here's the link to that website: http://www.praymorenovenas.com.

2. Twalks.

A term I believe my mother said, but really just talking and walking. An excellent way to spend time with a person, sharing what's on your mind or in your heart, getting exercise while gaining quality time with someone you might not otherwise be able to focus on for so long. Be it family, friends, or new acquaintances, "twalking" is one of my favorite pastimes and it's beautiful - especially if you have great scenery!

3. Small town life

This one is a bit more odd, but let me explain. At least partly. Growing up in the country, I haven't always felt like there were many people in my town that knew or cared overmuch about my life. Until this summer. This summer I work in the bank, and I begin to realize how many people have watched me grow up, know who my Grandma is, and want to know my life plan. Anything new happens, I can't go anywhere without someone mentioning it or knowing a little tidbit about my life. While I know this can seem oppressive and irritating to some people, this summer I've been finding it endearing (while at times embarrassing) that there are so many that care about what I do.

So, those are my three beautiful ideas for today. They may seem a bit vague, but I guess the idea of this exercise is to realize that there is beauty in every day, and to begin to look for it in places you might not expect to see it.


"The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart." ~Helen Keller

"Everything has beauty, but not everyone sees it." ~Confucius

From Smarties to DumDums

This summer I trained in as a teller at a bank.

Now, putting aside the dramas of learning how to count money and navigate the computer systems while dealing with jet lag from my trip to England, I want to share something about office sweets.

Being in my hometown, I used to love going to this bank when I was little. The tellers were always so sweet and friendly and I would come away with a balloon and one pack of Smarties candies. They remain a favorite sweet to this day.

When learning that I was hired to become one of these tellers I was nervous, to be sure, but also excited that I might be able to impact some child's life by being one of those pleasant ladies with candy.

I swiftly learned that Smarties are no longer handed out, but have been replaced by Dumdum suckers. Apparently Smarties were to messy in cars? More on that later.

So, they're still handing out candy. That's sweet. (sorry - couldn't resist the pun) What's my issue?

Not to mention that I love Smarties and am not too fond of the gooey stickiness and cavity awareness that comes from sucking on a Dumdum, I find negative connotations with the name.

Seems pretty obvious to me that Smarties are associated with wisdom and learning while Dumdums are associated with...well, dumbing things down. A sad habit I notice in a lot of areas in the world, but right now I'll just talk about the basic art of eating candy.

I can see why Dumdums might seem attractive. There are many flavors to choose from, there's one item on a stick that can't go rolling off into the car and hide in little crevices for years to come...which is the fault I'm hearing from Smarties. However, any two-year-old already knows how to suck on things. How many small children have thumb-sucking habits? Let's encourage it by making it conveniently sweet on a paper stick that gets half eaten, causing who knows what kind of other issues. (As far as I know, highly processes paper products are not encouraged on the food pyramid.)

Smarites, however, require dexterity and responsibility. There is careful planning in deciding which end of the package to open first, and how to hold it so as not to lose any. Yes, there are plenty dropped in the process of learning, but if you want to eat them all you swiftly learn how to take care so as not to misplace the precious round sugary delights. You learn which is your favorite flavor and savor accordingly. Kindness is encouraged, as you learn your friends favorite flavors, swapping and sharing so everyone is happy. You can be either patient, popping in one Smartie every five minutes to make a work day go by quicker, or you can be excited and pop in as many as will fit and enjoy the mixture of flavors dissolving on your tongue, inhaling more powder than is healthy but not caring because hey - you earned those Smarties with whatever project you are rewarding yourself for or because you made a new friend that day.

Giving someone a Dumdum, to me, says "Here, have some fool-proof candy because I don't think you are capable of much more than that. You will not go far in life." Giving a Smartie? That says "You seem an intelligent, capable person and I believe you will achieve your goals in life. Keep dreaming. And have a balloon, to set your dreams flying higher than the sugar can take you. Try not to pop it"

Okay, yes, it's a crazy argument and I do enjoy my fair share of Dumdums, too. (I'm partial to the pink lemonade or mango ones, myself...) but I still miss the positive message found in the wrapping of a Smartie, and I like being able to say I'm getting smarter by eating them because hey - you are what you eat, right?


"I cannot remember the books I've read any more than the meals I have eaten; even so, they have made me." ~Ralph Waldo Emerson