Adventurous Life

"Never lose your sense of adventure."

These words have been running through my head for the past hour or so. I just got back from a lovely walk with my fiancé, and we had some wonderful chats as we strolled along looking at butterflies, clouds, and flowers. One of the topics that came up was the idea that life is an adventure, and that we are so excited to embark on that journey together. Come highs and lows, we will see them through together. It's an amazing concept to think about!

What I've started reflecting on, however, has little to do with my marriage plans and dreams. It has to do with my own attitude and outlook on life. Moving home for a time after graduating from college, it is hard not to feel that somewhere I must have failed, that my achievements have led me nowhere, that I have lost my ambitions. Of course none of this is true, but these sorts of lies creep into our thoughts when we are unaware and try to steal our joy, don't they?

Well, I don't want to lose my joy. I like being an optimistic, happy person. I like being able to jump headfirst into a project and barely come up for air until it is finished. I like feeling useful, needed, wanted. I like knowing that what I'm doing matters.

In many ways, this summer at home has been good for that. I've been able to be helpful in my own family, and I'm stretching myself in new creative ways as I choreograph a musical. Yes, a whole musical! Plus being one of the lead roles, so it's been busy! I have definitely not been idle, no sir. At least, not idle in most senses.

Where I feel that I've lost my way is in monitoring my own motivations and aspirations, and noticing that this is still a chapter in my life's adventure. Sometimes your adventure has times of waiting, of feeling like you are up against a wall with no direction to turn next. But what always happens eventually? You find a loose brick in the wall that reveals a secret entrance, or a tree grows up that allows you to climb over, or a bird swoops in to fly you to your destination. Someway, somehow, it all will work out and you will have lost nothing by waiting; rather, you will have gained so much more by having persevered, having patience, and having the presence of mind to enjoy the breath of air this break allows you.

Life is an adventure. Even when it feels like you are stalling, the pieces of the world are still in motion and you will look back on this time of waiting with gratitude for the space to think, the room to grow, and the memories made without the pressure of deadlines or hectic schedules. You can just BE and discover a bit more of who YOU are, and really - isn't that one of the purposes of going on the adventure in the first place?

"Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?"

"That depends a good deal on where you want to get to." 

"I don't much care where - "

"Then it doesn't matter which way you go."

~Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

Learning to Fly

And just like that, college was over.

It's crazy to think about how much has happened in the past four years of my life...honestly, I can't comprehend it all so I'll keep it to a list of top 5 HUGE changes that have occurred since I packed up my bags and moved across the state that long-ago-feeling August...

1) Moved away from home and attended school with other people for the first time -  bit of a culture shock for the formerly home-schooled, shy youngest child, but it was necessary for this little bird to jump out of the nest and discover her wings and learn to fly. I still crash into trees and get lost in clouds sometimes, but one day I will climb high enough to clearly see the sun as I soar and it will be glorious.

2) Changed my mind a couple of times about my major, ending up as a Piano Performance Major and preparing both a junior and senior piano recitals...plus a vocal recital just for the heck of it! While my spontaneous decisions forever cause me stress and internal questioning of "what did you get yourself into...", it was all worth it and I'd do it over again in a heartbeat. My senior piano recital was a culmination of all that I've worked so hard to achieve in music over the past four years, and I never in my wildest dreams thought I'd be able to play, much less perform, the repertoire that I spent hours upon hours trying to learn and perfect. It was a wonderful experience.

3) Slowly discovered more and more of who I really am, opening up to some people and drifting away from others. It's strange to think of how some people were necessary for growth at one point in my life, but later they might not understand who I am today. It doesn't change the fact that they were an influential part of my own formation, and that will always matter. The support I have received from my friends and family has been incredible, and I would never have gotten where I am today without any one of them.

4) Met, dated, and became engaged to my best friend - someone I met day one of freshman orientation and never imagined I would come to know so well. I could not have believed how blessed my life would become by meeting this amazing young man and learning how to love another with a self-giving, empathetic, and supportive relationship that forever reminds me of how truly incredible God's love is and how perfect His plan is. I am beyond excited and thrilled to be planning my wedding for next summer, and while the year of waiting will be hard, I smile because at the end of this journey I will get to spend my life with someone whose smile lights up my world and will enjoy this crazy adventure called life with passion, sorrow, wonderment, and joy.

5) Speaking of my Heavenly Father....we've had a few ups and downs, but every great relationship has those (I believe). While I know I'm nowhere near being done with my growing faith relationship, there have been many revelations and insights that have been developing over my college years and somehow I feel closer to the Father, even when I'm not consistently spending quality time with him. Because every moment I live is with Him, and even though I may forget that sometimes, He never does. He is ever forgiving, and ever willing to let me try over and over and over again. It's my job to never give up trying.

Of course there was SO MUCH more that happened in the last four years, but I think those five categories sum up a brief peek at where I feel that I've most developed...oh, of course the focus was often on assignments, grades, schedules, and wondering how in the world I was ever going to sleep again. But the truly important items of knowledge that I acquired were not learned in a classroom, and I think the most important lesson to take away is that we are forever learning from our surroundings and experiences, and it is a beautiful experience that we are blessed to endure.


"I am beginning to learn that it is the sweet, simple things of life which are the real ones after all." ~Laura Ingalls Wilder 

Seasons Greetings!

I find it incredibly ironic that the last post I did (way back in September! :0) was on the theme of daring to live, letting dreams become reality, etc.

Flash forward 3-4 months and apparently I have been living because I certainly haven't made time to blog!

Why the sudden change of heart? I took a funny little quiz the other day to see what their opinion of my life's mission was, and they said I should be a blogger. I literally laughed out loud because, as you can see, I am not the most consistent communicator. Still, it did remind me that I enjoy sharing my thoughts and ideas and it wouldn't not be a bad thing to start up again.

I hope everyone had a blessedly merry Christmas! After prepping for a week at home with shopping trips, baking, and other various scamperings, Christmas was beautiful with midnight (okay, 10pm Mass...), Christmas morning Mass (I loved playing the organ!), presents, time spent with family, and overall cheer.

Yesterday all four of my siblings made it home with their families, which made my mom and dad's 40th Anniversary celebration quite special. It was a fun day with everyone contributing a soup to share and other goodies. We also played games, had a whole-family singing/caroling session (breaking into 4-part harmonies as much as possible), and story time with Mom.

Now I'm getting excited to go spend a week with my boyfriend and his family, so we'll see what excitement the New Year's celebrations have in store! Perhaps now is time to start thinking about those resolutions for the new year.... ;)

"Peace begins with a smile..." ~Mother Teresa

Daring to live

Can you believe that September is almost gone already? This semester is just FLYING by - it feels like we just started last week!

I know the saying is "time flies when you are having fun," and I certainly am having fun times. Sometimes, though, I'm so busy that I forget that I'm getting to do what I love and that I'm learning a lot. It's good to remember that every once in a while. It helps with the motivation!

It seems unreal that this is my last year doing my undergraduate work...next year I have no idea where I'll be and it can be quite unnerving at times. Honestly, whenever someone asks "what will you be doing after you graduate?" I sort of want to scream and fly away in a puff of smoke.

That seems a bit unrealistic, though, so I just shrug and give the honest answer "I don't know."

Okay, but think about it. Do you ever really know where you'll be one year from today? No. You can assume that you'll either still be doing the same thing or you'll be doing something different, but you can't truly know for sure.

This makes me think that I don't need to know, either. Everything will work out.

I hope.

It's hard to trust in that sometimes, but I have to accept that trusting is all I can do at this point.

I had a little creative fit a week or so ago (can't remember exactly when...) and decorated the big empty wall in my room. It turned out way better than I had anticipated, and it makes me much happier in my space.

"Dare to live the life you have dreamed for yourself."

I couldn't get far enough away to get the whole thing in the picture - sorry!

After sorting through a number of possibilities, I chose this quote because I think it's what I need to keep telling myself. There are a number of messages that I take from it. 

Dare to live. 

Dare to dream. 

Live for yourself. 

Dream for yourself. 

Dare to dream of the life that you want. 

Dare to live that dream to the fullest. 

And so on. 

It helps, because right now I often grow afraid of the future, or begin telling myself to narrow my possibilities because I don't have as many capabilities, etc. 

I am pretty much my own worst enemy. 

Oh, I've been told over the years that I am my worst critic. It's true, I am hard on myself. But lately it's gotten to the point where I am holding myself back, and I need to let myself shine, grow, dream.

The only person who can insist that I be happy and peaceful is me, and it's time to start making the effort and live my life and dream wildly - for life is beautiful, and there are beautiful dreams to be had.


"Dare to live the life you have dreamed for yourself. Go forward and make your dreams come true." ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

The Penthouse

I have a new home!!!

And it's perfect. Absolutely perfect.

Over the summer I've been living in a smaller apartment on campus with three other girls, so sharing a room, bathroom, and kitchen/living area. It was a bit cramped and there was a bug problem since our door opened directly to the outside world and the building is older.

This past weekend, I moved into my housing for the upcoming school year!

My two closest girlfriends and I decided to splurge and pamper ourselves for our senior year together. We met the first day freshman year and have been inseparable ever since, even starting our own "band" as a singing trio. I could not had asked for more amazing of friends, and I'm so delighted that we're all three get to have our own space this last year of school. *sniff*

Since I've been on campus all summer, I got to move in early, and Flora and Merryweather decided to come and help me (Fauna) as a fun way to have a get-together (hadn't seen them since May!) and celebrate Merryweather's birthday.
(We identified ourselves with the fairies from Sleeping Beauty freshman year...thought I'd resurrect the old nicknames!)

Here are some pictures of our new space! (sadly I didn't get any pictures of the three of us...I believe Merryweather has those on her phone...)

My room before moving anything in - we each get our own room! And they're huge. So spoiled!

The lovely living room. While it still craves some wall decor and the tv is coming when the other two officially move in,  I'm already in love with this room. It's so cozy and peaceful!
Notice the piano in the corner? :D

Recycling a quote that Merryweather and I had in our room last year, we decided it livened up the kitchen nicely!

The view from the living room window. We're on the third floor, overlooking the creek/bluffs. It's gorgeous!

All settled in my room!

It's already a bit more homey since I took these pictures, and it will keep getting cozier as I find places for everything. 

The hallway leading to the other girls' bedrooms and the bathroom. I love that there's hardly any carpet. 

Perfect for primping ;) 

Even the bathroom is ginormous. 

We still like to have a sense of humor in the bathroom. ;)

And there you have it - The Penthouse, as we've endeared our new home. I feel so incredibly blessed to have such a delightful space to live in for this last year at college, and thankful for such amazing friends to share it with. Now I can start to feel ready for the school year to begin!

"If we will walk humbly with our God, He will lead us by the hand to exactly who and what we need, to those people, things, and experiences He has designed and intended for us, and this alone will be the cause of our deep fulfillment and happiness." ~Matthew Kelly (Rediscovering Catholicism, Journeying Toward Our Spiritual North Star)

3/4 of a year

Yesterday was a beautiful day. After a huge thunderstorm (in some areas close by there were actually tornado warnings, but thankfully we were not in danger) the air was clean and the sun was shining in the clear blue sky. Yes, it was probably over 90 degrees during the afternoon, but after being cooped up in an overly air-conditioned office for the majority of the summer, I was pretty excited to enjoy my day off by exploring some sunshine!

So when my boyfriend texted me wishing me a happy 9-months-of-dating and asked if I'd like to go on a walk around the big lake, I was delighted to say yes!

We set out later in the afternoon, so it was probably about 5pm before we actually started walking. Still pretty hot, though! We brought bottles of water to make sure we didn't get dehydrated.

I was also armed with my camera.

Nothing like starting off the adventure with a selfie!

The lake was splendidly beautiful with the bluffs in the background. 

We love to be silly every once in the while, and the sun was being so photogenic... ;)

Look at that water!

Most of the path around the lake is sheltered by trees, so we enjoyed the shade. 

So many ducks! This little family was especially cute. 

I absolutely LOVE weeping willow trees, and the breeze was doing wonderful things with this one. 

"The road goes ever on and on...."

We had a splendid, leisurely time - walking along chatting and holding hands while avoiding being trampled by the motivated cyclists that would whiz past periodically. Afterwards we enjoyed a lovely dinner and ended the evening by watching 'How To Train Your Dragon 2' - one I've been intending to see for quite a while. It was super cute! 

"Some of us were just born different." ~Valka, from "How To Train Your Dragon 2

Clouds and Flowers

This summer has been passing so quickly. Many days I feel that I am actually missing summer, since I spend so much of my time locked away in a box office or selling tickets at shows so I can't actually get outside and enjoy the sun.

Or the days when I do plan to go outside it decides to rain and storm so I have to stay inside.

Granted, I choose to spend plenty of my off-time hours watching tv shows or reading and such, but I was very excited this morning to get ready and go explore the town a bit while I had nothing else demanding my attention.

Where did I go? I went down by the river to check out the park there. Supposedly there's a rose garden somewhere down there, but while I didn't find any roses I did find lots of flower gardens! I was excited to exercise my camera.

The walk down by the river. It's gorgeous! Even though it was cloudy...

First flower garden..they were all small little gardens, but so vibrant!

I love tall, wild-looking flowers. 

A touch of pink :) 

This one was just waiting for someone to take it's picture. 

Do you see those little moth-like things? They were all over these plants!

Greeting the day. 

No garden is complete without some purple!

And more pink. 

Maybe I should work on my selfie skills, but I only took one to prove I was there, haha!

"I learned this, at least, by my experiment: that if one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours." ~Henry David Thoreau, Walden: Or, Life in the Woods